To be transparent, this last week I was pretty miserable. I was crushed under the weight of my stress until I was crying into my pillow on Thursday evening. I’m the type of person who likes having a variety of things to do, which is one of the reasons why I enjoy research so much. However, I felt like I wasn’t progressing in anything I’ve been doing this semester. Variety is good, but progress is better. I’m not trying to be a jack of all trades and master of none. After all, the point of getting a doctoral degree is to become an “expert” in a specific (and often esoteric) aspect of the world.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how I went from chuggingly along nicely to stressed to tears over the course of the semester. Hopefully, my reflections can help you before you get to that point or even if you’re already there. Thus, here are some reasons why you might be feeling stressed.

1. Striving Leads to Stress

Culture actually encourages striving, and on the surface, it doesn’t seem like such a bad thing. It’s good to work hard. Still, it’s better to work hard and smart. Jesus said that his yoke is easy and his burden is light (Matthew 11:30). God designed us to work with him, not to charge ahead and do everything with our own strength and intellect. Is it because that doesn’t yield results? No. There are many people who have worked hard “irrespective” of God and achieved many feats over the centuries. They seem successful, and yet often mention being unfulfilled or depressed or wondering what’s next. Striving may get you places, but it’s exhausting and neverending.

2. Doing Too Much Leads to Stress

Some of you are like me and love having a lot of different things on your plate, while others of you are driven by insecurity and pile on things that you dislike doing because you think you need them in order to get somewhere or get something that you want. Either way, it’s possible that you’re doing too much. Sometimes, it’s hard to say no to things. However, the result of taking on too much is unhealthy stress. For those who like the variety, perhaps it’s time to reprioritize. You can do many things, but they can’t all be your top priority simultaneously. That’s a recipe for stress and shoddy work which leads to more stress. For all of you operating out of fear, perhaps it’s time to cut some things out. Stick to things that you enjoy or want to grow in and cut out things that are there just to pad your resume. I know. It sounds terrifying, but you’ll be better for it.

3. You’re Not Grounded

Often, stress arises because you are out of alignment with your values. You’re living in a state of cognitive dissonance. You say you believe or want something and yet your actions don’t line up with what you say. The distance between what you believe and do creates stress. One of two things usually ends up happening in such a scenario. First, in the ideal situation, you change your actions to align with your beliefs. Conversely, the other option is that you change your beliefs to match your actions. Usually, we believe better of ourselves than we behave, thus the second option isn’t an ideal outcome. Take some time to analyze your life. Does what you are doing match up with what you believe and want in life? If not, it’s time to make a change for the better. With that change, you also likely find yourself less stressed.

Hopefully, this has helped you reflect on what is causing you stress in your life. In the next few posts, I’ll share how I got out of that hole last week spiritually and practically. Until then, stay chill.